"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears very close resemblance to the
first."
- Ronald Reagan
I wrote the below essay in response to a college application question in the Fall of 1991 in response to their question: "A significant childhood experience and its continuing importance to me."
Tea Time
George Herbert Mead, a sociologist, believes that the behavior of
people is formed during their early years of childhood. The most significant
experience of my childhood occured before I was seven. By then, I had lived in
three different countries. Although born
in Illinois, I grew up in London. My first memories are of there. I remember
riding my tricycle through Regents Park, watching the Royal Wedding on the
"tele," and riding the tube for ten pence. My first birthday party
with Mr. Coffee, my early Christmas impressions, the first four school years in
an English school, the acquisition of language - all are associated with London.
Before I grew too thoroughly accustomed to England, we were shunted off to Le
Vesinet, a small village just outside of Paris. The experience made me
consciously aware of the many different cultures around me, particularly because
my school, a French lycee, had kids from ten different countries whose only
common language was French. We had the opportunity to travel a great deal while
living in Europe so I was able to benefit from seeing the many different
cultures instead of merely hearing about them. My experience in Europe taught me
to keep my mind open to any and all differences in people and culture. As a
result, I am strongly opposed to any display of prejudice towards others because
that shows willful ignorance and a profound lack of respect.
We returned to the United States shortly before my entry into third grade. The significant differences between the life styles of an eight year old in Europe and one in the U.S. made me feel like a foreigner in my own country until I was in fifth grade. I even made a conscious effort to lose my English accent. With all the moves (three more of them in my first two years back in the US), I was never really able to feel comfortable and questioned where exactly "home" was. The past seven years have made Barrington home, but my early experiences still allow me to accommodate new situations well. The need to constantly adopt and make new friends, while I was upset at it at the time, has made me better prepared for the college adjustment and for the life that will follow.
A bit of humor...
The following is reported to have been authored
by the Cultural Officer of the American Embassy in Bonn. We would expect that is
not the case, but it makes the actual author {one S. Schueppert} seem more
authentic [if that is what he/she wants to be].
FRANCE
The following advisory for American travelers heading
for France was compiled from information provided by the US State Department,
the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug
Administration, the Centers for Disease Control, and some overly expensive spy
satellites that the French don't know about. It is intended as a guide for
American travelers only.
General Overview
France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of
Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as
important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some
smaller nations of no particular consequence and with not very good shopping.
France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and
EuroDisney. Among its contributions to western civilization are champagne,
Camembert cheese and the guillotine. Although France likes to think of itself as
a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to
get decent Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for American visitors is
that the people willfully persist in speaking French, though many will speak
English if shouted at. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all
times.
The People
France has a population of 54 million people, most of whom drink and smoke a
great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously oversexed, and have no concept
of standing patiently in line. The French people are in general gloomy,
temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof, and undisciplined; and those are their
good points. Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly
guess it from their behavior. Many people are communists, and topless sunbathing
is common. Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie, and they kiss each other
when they hand out medals. American travelers are advised to travel in groups
and to wear baseball caps and colorful trousers for easier mutual recognition.
Safety
In general, France is a safe destination, though travelers are advised that,
from time to time, it is invaded by Germany. By tradition, the French surrender
more or less at once and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whisky and
increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices, life
for the visitor generally goes on much as before. A tunnel connecting France to
Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it
easier for the Government to flee to London.
History
France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important
historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau,
and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport.
Government
The French form of government is democratic but noisy. Elections are held
more or less continuously, and always result in a run-off. For administrative
purposes, the country is divided into regions, departments, districts,
municipalities, cantons, communes, villages, cafes, booths, and floor tiles.
Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower (though, confusingly,
they are both on the ground floor), whose members are either Gaullists or
communists, neither of whom is to be trusted, frankly. Parliament's principal
preoccupation are setting off atomic bombs in the South Pacific and acting
indignant when anyone complains. According to the most current State Department
intelligence, the President now is someone named Jacques. Further information is
not available at this time.
Culture
The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to see
why. All their songs sound the same, and they have hardly ever made a movie that
you would want to watch for anything but the nude scenes. And nothing, of
course, is more boring than a French novel.
Cuisine
Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a
slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, on the other hand, are excellent,
though it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In general,
travelers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers at leading hotels such as
Sheraton and Holiday Inn.
Economy
France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in
Europe, which is surprising because people hardly work at all. If they are not
spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on strike and blocking the
roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in order of
importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons, perfume, guided missiles,
champagne, high-caliber weaponry, grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack
aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese.
Public Holidays
France has more holidays than any other nation in the world. Among its
361national holidays are 197 saints' days, 37 National Liberation Days, 16
Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of Charles de Gaulle in Triumph as if he
Won the War Single-Handed Days, 18 Napoleon Sent into Exile Days, 17 Napoleon
Called Back from Exile Days, and 112 France is Great and the Rest of the World
is Rubbish Days. Other important holidays are National Nuclear Bomb Day (January
12), the Feast of St. Brigitte Bardot Day (March 1), and National Guillotine Day
(November 12).
Conclusion
France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape, and a
temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if it weren't
inhabited by French people.
A Word of Warning
The consular services of the United States government are intended solely
for the promotion of the interests of American businesses such as McDonald's,
Pizza Hut, and the Coca-Cola Corporation. In the event that you are the victim
of a crime or serious injury involving at least the loss of a limb, report to
the American Embassy between the hours of 5:l5 am and 5:20 am on a Tuesday or
Wednesday, and a consular official who is supremely indifferent to your plight
will give you a list of qualified dentists or something similarly useless.
Remember, no one ordered you to go abroad. Personally, we always take our
holidays at Myrtle Beach, and you are advised to as well.
Under construction
*All photographs (unless otherwise noted) are the property of
Stenning Schueppert and may not be distributed or circulated for any purposes
(personal or commercial) without his express written consent. Questions or
comments regarding selected photographs are, of course, welcome.
Last updated April 10, 2001.
